So the last time I invited current join us we pretty much focused on her past her relationship with
the past and we explored the asked a few questions and then we ended up leading current to a place of
will remember that wobble happened where she started questioning her whole reality and stuff like this
personal breakthrough sessions are always going to be present moment focused with me.
So breakthrough sessions aren't about making peace with the past it's not about setting goals or even
casting a vision for the future.
It's about making peace with where we are in the present.
All right.
And the reason why I say this is because if you can reflect back on some of the videos that I've shared
such as emotional time travel and how we and where and when we feel emotions and issues and problems
is right here in the present it's not like we're bothered about problems we had 10 years ago or five
years ago.
It's not like we're actually too concerned about what might be happening six months or a year from now
and we only ever have issues right here right now in the present because the present is all we actually
ever have is kind of like a life is just one big sequence and series of notes even if we had an issue
going back five years ago or ten years ago that was still no back then and in six months from now if
we even live in our far if we do encounter a problem well that's also going to be a problem or experience
and no just in six months from now.
So yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift.
Please excuse the cheesy cliché.
Personal breakthroughs must always happen in the present and must always be focused on where a client
is and how we can help them to break through and they are thinking today.
All right.
I was looking forward to a goal or an aspiration or and then becoming more of who it is they actually
want to become.
All right so how willing to carry out breakthrough sessions.
Certainly not by focusing on problems or issues I know that many people do but I would always suggest
that when we encourage our clients or those people that we're working with to focus on problems or challenges
well guess what.
What we focus on we feel.
All right.
So we want to be encouraging as much as possible our clients to be focusing on the positive.
What they actually do want instead upon what they don't want my positive motivation is instead of negative
motivations because it's a positive motivations are really going to drive us forward in life.
And I know car and you are looking forward to some things in the future aren't you.
Yeah yeah.
And shared that I share to be that previous that but looking forward to becoming a stronger better communicator
and public speaker.
That's quite a big deal at the moment.
You're looking forward to that day in the future when you become a better stronger public speaker yes.
Yes.
But you know that person yet today
in this feel does feel like a lot of sense of inadequacy there that I'm not quite that person yet today.
Was it coming from
and is that coming from
such it's just a feeling I'm having.
That's it.
There's a feeling of truth as it is.
Is it true what you feel.
It's not true.
No.
How do you know it's not true.
I don't know it's not true.
So I guess
I know that if I I know that at any point I can be a confident communicator.
The only thing that's actually holding me back is the fear beforehand of public speaking.
If I apply myself in the and in the moment how much they find.
So really it's just the feeling that's intimidating me not the actual woman itself.
So in terms of the actual moment being right no more problems if you've got Renaud I don't actually
have a problem right now.
You don't have a problem right now.
No.
You're likely to have a problem in the future on a scale of one to 100 1 you're going to have no problem
100 you going to have massive epic problems and
no I think a problem in 10.
But it depends on how I manage myself in that moment.
Then what would it take to get from a 10 down to a 1 today.
It's a good question.
Last response I kind of want
what would it take to get from a 10 down to one today.
Because it seems that that's the void you have in your life right now.
It's uncertain to have the uncertainty that I have about being able to manage myself well in the moment
it's causing me the area of
So what will void is there actually.
So it is actually not a void.
It's just me practicing.
Just me practicing becoming more familiar with situations that I'm uncomfortable with.
So that I I don't myself worth so what does this mean then.
This means that if I if I begin practicing more than I'm going to become more certain of my own ability
to communicate well in public and speak publicly and the more that I do that the less I'll even have
this aide of doubt within myself.
So through practice and trusting you you learned how to do like online design and workbooks.
You became quite good at that than you.
How did you learn not
and I've partially modeled some of the stuff you had it done in the past and then experimented and practiced
and worked out for myself.
How did you even learn how to speak the same process.
It's a modeling and then you work so as you know you model your parents and then you you learn from
around their energy as well that school and
who would you say has.
Who do you see influenced you the most when you were when you were growing up who would you say you
would have modeled yourself on more than anyone else.
I would say it would be my mom
how effective or how good was she doing.
What is it you would like to be able to do more.
That wasn't really her kind of thing so she wouldn't she wouldn't.
She wouldn't really put herself into new situations much or are
to try new things.
She was like I don't ever remember her public speaking.
Was there a reason for this that you don't know if
saying that.
I do remember one memory of her public speaking where she would get quite nervous for that kind of thing.
I'm sure she'll get quite nervous about speaking.
Interesting.
That was a rarity that that's not something she would typically do.
Was there a reason she'd get quite quite nervous and apprehensive of speaking.
Yeah yeah.
Just because because like me it was unfamiliar to her.
She wouldn't she wouldn't be typically my mom would I mean she was a single mom so she had four kids
to take care of and she's quite busy and she would never really have created time for herself to to
be involved in new activities or doing stuff that might challenge her or encourage her growth.
I was wondering if there's anything that you might have learned from her that's perhaps influenced how
how does a you really put yourself out there today.
Because we all know how to learn from someone don't we.
Well there is a link here I can see it as a link.
Yes.
So my mom would prioritize in her life and.
I have to explain practical stuff daily life activities as you'd keep yourself busy with tasks.
And I'm not no not really make time for new activities for herself for so she wouldn't make a time for
doing new things.
No.
Do the things that you actually really wanted to do.
Certainly not.
Back then.
No I didn't the same way.
I'm quite comfortable in prioritizing stuff that's familiar to me but is I'm not great at prioritizing
stuff.
It's not comfortable for me and I use Teflon so yeah.
And I'll easily just do the same things everyday.
The things I need I need to do.
But they could take longer than the.
And they need to.
Or I'll end up coming to things that I don't need to be doing and all of these are really excuses for
not doing the things that I actually want to be doing or that would tip me out of my comfort zone and
encourage my own growth.
So how does this relate to shying away or holding back
so shying away is this like it's the same as me.
Happily working away behind the scenes doing my everyday activities that I'm familiar with and comfortable
with.
So the practical stuff but it's kind of similar to the.
Yeah yeah.
Yeah.
Is this the same pattern pattern shy away and avoid the challenge.
Really interesting.
Yeah.
What would you feel about that
he had never really made that link before shying away shying away.
It's the same as me sir busying myself away and not doing the things that I actually want to want to
commit to.
You mentioned the link there who made the link
and I did you ask the question how does that relate and then I made the link.
Give me the link.
No I'm just wondering if there's another link that you could actually benefit from making in relation
to less.
You haven't have a major
I think there is something there's an element of
excuse involved excuse.
Yeah.
Um.
Would you put him mean by excuse like
Like I've said that I shy away through lack of confidence or unfamiliar unfamiliar unfamiliarity.
But at the same time I'll prioritize
busyness or everyday activities tasks over some of the really important things that would encourage
my own growth.
Which is almost like an excuse for not being confident enough to step out in the first place.
So this is like I've kind of deceived myself into believing that
I'm not confident enough what is really really often more often than not I actually don't create space
or time for these things anyway as I prioritize other things over it.
I'm wondering if your if your fear is actually a fear of really its ability or and wonder whether the
main issue is actually apathy
Yeah I think you would be happier now that there just have a look and just how well you can see.
I mean we're the ones that would want to be guessing here.
We want to see those socially true or not.
Because if there is we can do something about apathy.
Yeah we can do anything about eventualities in the future but we can't do something about apathy today.
Yeah.
No.
That is true of prioritizing comfortable things things that are within my comfort zone over taking risks
is actually just apathy.
Yeah not I'm not taking the risks I want to be taking and I can do something about that.
Where did you learn or when did you learn to be so good.
A citing apathy when the other
when the yellow and not apply yourself in life.
Because it seemed that this might be a real anchor real sticking point for you.
It seems that this is the trait that might really be holding you back from getting that break through
that year that you want to yeah.
I don't actually know.
I will look and see
I guess there is a link actually between apathy and a victim mindset where victim means so yeah.
Interesting where an anchor looked a bit less already enmeshed in my past where after the time where
lost plasma my dad I did become the victim for a number of years a long time.
Oh woe is me because I've lost a parent almost like an attention seeking behavior looking looking for
attention at school and stuff like that waiting for someone to see you and give you attention.
Yeah.
Waiting for a mom to give me more attention waiting for a healer to come along.
Waiting for a hero.
Yeah.
There was a who is the just just interest in every card draw a triangle.
It's interesting you said victim.
I understand if you're a if you're a victim there's gonna be a bad guy or a perpetrator.
Just wondering who the bad guy was who wronged you.
All victims are victimized by someone right.
Yeah.
He was a bad guy.
Think in my beliefs it was just the sad truth just in truth.
He was about and the world God really.
Who else ever had to be someone who actually wronged
um.
My mom on one level but on the main level
I'm not sure there's anyone else around you.
Oh well my dad.
No no no.
It's also true.
Yeah.
Yeah I've never rooted it in that way that the biggest part of that problem was him leaving.
And that was on him.
Except it wasn't his wasn't anything he could have done about it.
So when justifying anything explain it.
No.
That was true for me.
Yes.
That was true for me.
But what was true for you that's the most important thing here was actually true.
It's just good to be honest sometimes isn't it.
We can't let a conversation a few years with her with a young man who is quite angry a lot of things
he was very very angry at one at one of his parents and I should say to him you know you can't really
move beyond something in life until you've accepted what's true you know.
And he said to me you know hide your what's true.
And I said Well you'll know what's true.
Once you've accepted it made and made peace with it.
Yeah.
So it just seems to me if I'm just doing my best to put together these pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that
apathy is actually is actually the bad guy.
Apathy is the is the enemy here apathy is the enemy.
Up is the enemy apathy is the habit that you've Yeah I've gotten into a habit of not taking risks not
put myself out there I'm being comfortable being comfortable as this responsibility or a responsibility
it's a responsibility like I'm waiting for waiting for a hero to come along.
Come on bring these things into my life I want.
Which is never going to happen because I like so then the DoD should do something that you don't you
have them.
Yeah.
This is strange to talk about it like that because I was so young at the time that I wouldn't have
I've never considered really that I blamed him in any way for leaving or that it was his fault or that
he like I can't even really relate to what it's like to have a dad or that role in my life.
I hear what you say
having especially for a girl having a dad come in and solve some of these problems is it's like the
role of a dad.
I can relate to that being a father and I can't relate to it from my own experience but from an idea
of what my dad could be.
So I'm just wondering know how it is that you start moving beyond this how you start moving beyond this
no.
This limitation is apathy because it does seem that this is what's actually holding you back from and
although you obviously want to communicate but that's not just in terms of speaking in groups want to
be more forthcoming in your communications.
I can it right across the board through all of your relationships to really just speak freely not hold
back Be yourself and file you so I think I can only imagine that's what you want.
That's what I want.
Yeah that's what you want and what's what's historically come or cost you that's my apathy.
Yeah of a swap physiognomy that was the perpetrator.
How do we move beyond this today.
And step on
step one is owning the fact that it's my it's it's apathy not lack of confidence.
So it's not lack of confidence anymore is just apathy.
Yeah.
How else would we define or for what other work could we use instead of apathy.
Laziness laziness.
How would you feel about lazy people.
I don't admire or have much respect for these people.
How much have you admired and respected yourself over the years.
Not much.
I'm wondering if this is you.
I'm so sorry.
That's why.
What is it you see though the.
What do you say I don't I don't admire and respect lazy people much.
I don't have much admiration or respect for myself because of my laziness over the years and that has
resulted in me not actually prioritizing the things that I want in life or the things that I'm good
at the things that I would admire about myself if I did the
yeah that makes sense.
So what next.
We're from here.
Where from here.
Appreciate.
Has been a tough conversation.
All right.
Where from where from here we're from here.
I'm more aware now everything that I
like for example all my activities or things that I prioritize in a day unless I prioritize some of
these companies on activities like they will never come when they're up.
I don't need to feel any more confident to do that I just need to start re prioritizing.
So what I'd put I understand is so we all have habits in life.
Some of us have good habits we have healthy habits some of us have bad habits and we all have a default
mode don't we.
Yeah.
So it would seem to me that your your lifetime habit since quite young age has been has been apathy.
What is holding back.
So what's the new habit or then you have it be you actually need to start integrating into your life
right away to replace because if you remove one habit you've got replace it with somebody else right
away and really work hard on that and working hard is obviously very very different from apathy.
Yeah so it's like a habit at the opposite end of the spectrum isn't it.
Yeah.
So I need to immediately start prioritizing
and what role could I play as a life coach and helping you to ensure that the old habit is replaced
with a new one
and by checking in on how much progress I'm making in terms of actually
accountability accountability.
How much im actually doing the public speaking that I want to put myself at my comfort zone.
Sure and this one here.
Yeah that's fine yeah.
As you can imagine it's probably quite a tough conversation.
And this is what a breakthrough session can look like.
All right.
I didn't want to hold back in this one.
We wanted to go raw and show you how impact it can be it's not like a breakthrough session brings about
amazing transformation right away.
What breakthrough is more about is us helping our clients to really up a level and their thinking to
look at their life and their issues from a whole new perspective which I think is what we've done here.
So we're going to take a five minute break.
Me and Karen will play one a little bit of fresh air and then we're gonna jump right back in and just
have a conversation and just deconstruct this breakthrough session.
And so you can hear from Current's perspective how this was for her and what the process was like.
From my perspective it wasn't like I had a script for this.
All that I've really done is I've just taken the attitude towards Karen I want to understand I'm just
responding and asking questions in response to what current shared with me.
All right.
So it's not really a script for this is one of these things that we just get better up over time but
we'll end the video.
No we're right back calm and the next collapse just to deconstruct what's just happened here.
I hope you find this interesting.